Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Winter In My Heart

Lately, I've been feeling winter.  In my spirit.  It's just felt kind of . . . cold.  Like I want to curl up inside myself and wait for the onset of spring with all of it's excitement and anticipation.  And warmth.  And beauty.

I can't really put my finger on the cause.  I can't even pinpoint when it started.  But I feel it.  In my being.  Wondering where the excitement of following hard after Jesus has gone.  Waiting for the return of the juice-filled, beautiful fruit that is joy and peace.  So I can live off of it.  And enjoy it in all of its juicy succulence.  Where has it gone?  

Or has it gone?  Could it just be joy and peace with a different face?  The naked face that shows its raw beauty.  The kind of joy that simmers deep down inside.  The peace that truly "transcends all understanding." 

The other day, I was looking out the car window admiring the snow-covered trees and noticing their barrenness.  And it occurred to me that, even in winter, God displays His mercy and beautiful provision in all of creation.  For, He provides protection from the freezing cold by allowing the leaves to die off before the snow comes.  (well, usually...except for when there's an early freeze or a late frost.  But I digress.)

And it occurred to me that maybe, in this wintertime of my spirit, He is actually displaying His mercy and provision somehow.  Maybe He's protecting me from something.  Or preparing for something.  Some sort of deep freeze that might hurt my tender fruit were it to be in full bloom.  Or maybe He just wants to show the raw beauty that is winter.  In even me.  And I was reminded of His tender mercies that are not only new every morning but in every season of life, too.

And there, in that moment, He reminded me that He is perfect in all His ways.  "You are good and what you do is good." (Psalm 119:68)  Even in winter.  Even in my soul's winter.

What about you?  Do you know what I'm talking about?  Do you ever have wintertimes in your spirit?  How has God encouraged you through them?  I would love to hear.

I'm unwrapping the gift of today with a bunch of other beautiful bloggers over at Tuesdays Unwrapped.  And I'm really looking forward to reading them.  Hope you will too.


emily freeman said...

I know exactly what you're talking about. I even labeled my winter photo on my blog this morning "the waiting" because that is what winter is; on the inside and on the out. I needed to hear this post this morning. Thank you for writing it...and for linking up!

Tammy@Fear Not said...

Oh my! I know those cold winter souls...usually it's when I seek Him more. Look a little harder, because I too want that succlent juice! I'm glad that winter is only a season, just like the seasons in the Spirit. Keep grasping for HIM. This too will pass!

Dayle ~ A Collection of Days said...

I've written about the winter seasons of life and, in my personal experience, I've discovered that there are lessons that can only be learned in winter. Lessons like patience and stillness. And even though some winters seem to have no end, the wonderful thing is that even when everything looks dead and barren, new life is at work, somewhere underneath it all. Give it a few weeks and out it will burst. Spring always follows winter, and nothing can stop it.

Dawn said...

even in my sunshiney florida world i am feeling the winter that you write about. kind of wishing it wuold pass... but perhaps you are right and my soul is right where it needs to be...

Tracey said...

I have also had seasons of winter in my spirit. Returning to the faithfulness of His promises gives me hope and I trust in His goodness to bring me through to spring again.

Southern Gal said...

"Maybe He's protecting me from something. Or preparing for something. Some sort of deep freeze that might hurt my tender fruit were it to be in full bloom."

Such truth in that. In my own experience I know God has my best interest at heart. Even when it doesn't 'feel' like it. Thank you.

Gayle said...

Beautiful, thought-provoking post. As JFK once said, "Only in winter can you tell which trees are truly green."

Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

I am at exactly such a point right now...thank you for this perspective on this winter season. It is one I had not thought of before and needed to hear.

Kimberly said...

I have written about this exact feeling of soul-winter on my blog. It's such a painful season, but as one dear commenter told me, winter always precedes spring. And nothing can stop spring!

laura said...

I've been thinking on this subject lately, too. And I think the conclusion I've come to is: at least one of the reasons God allows pain and poverty and sickness and winter and wilderness is because we need to be constantly reminded that this world is NOT our home! And likewise, at least one of the reasons God allows love and joy and pleasure and blessing is because in all that bitterness we need to be consistently reminded of the milk and honey taste of our TRUE home!

May God always give us enough suffering and sweetness to keep us hungry for the Promised Land!

heidi @ wonder woman wannabe said...

Oh yes, I've certainly had my share of 'wintertimes in spirit'

I think you're on a great track of just slowing down to see where you're at and considering where to go.

We've been promised "seek and you will find" (Matt. 7:7)
and "you do not have because you do not ask"

You are asking, you are seeking, I know you'll be found. ;)

It helps me to listen to praise music when I'm feeling 'dry'- ginny owens, brooke frasier and nichole nordeman are just a few of my favorites for these type of seasons!

Also, reading the psalms everyday

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