Bring It!

I've long been intrigued by Mary's reaction to the angel when he broke the news to her about Jesus. I mean, the Bible says in Luke 2 that she was "greatly troubled" by the words, "You ... are highly favored! The Lord is with you." When she heard it, she "wondered what kind of greeting this might be." I have to wonder when I read it if she was suspicious. Or was it, maybe, that her simple and pure humility would not let her just accept it as common knowledge that she was highly favored? I don't know. That's part of the intrigue. The humility that characterizes Mary is something I've always admired and longed for from afar. (Ever hear that humility is a scary thing to pray for?)

The other (quite large) part of the intrigue is that of her reaction when the plan is sketched out for her. Quite simply -- she would somehow be impregnated by the Holy Spirit before giving birth to God Himself in the form of a baby, not to mention having to trust that her fiance would understand, as well as having to wait to enjoy her wedding night until (wait, this one's crazy) after she gave birth to the child from her virgin womb. I write it here and can't fathom or wrap my mind around it. I don't even really know how to use words for it.

So -- how could she?!? And yet, somehow she finds some words. She uses them to respond to this sketchy picture with amazing stability and confidence. It comes out in what are perhaps five of the scariest yet assuring words in the English language "I am the Lord's servant." And she finishes it off with "May it be to me as you have said." Uh-huh! I know! Absolute. Trust. She has just been told that her life as she knows it is about to be obliterated. And she responds with a resounding "bring it!!" (my translation) because she knows Whom she serves. She's grounded in Who she belongs to. She has no doubt Who's in charge. She has no worries about the details (like the whole Joseph believing her thing, and what about her parents counting backwards from the day Jesus is born to figure out exactly when He was conceived). "No worries... I'm God's servant. Bring it!" And wow! Did He bring it or what? And what an adventure she got to take!

Makes me wonder what kind of adventures I've missed when I've failed to respond to one of His nudges with that same humility that Mary had. And it makes me excited to think about all the adventures He has for me as I humbly accept what ever He brings. Unafraid. Absolutely. Trusting. Him. As. My. Lord. "May it be to me as you have said."

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"Nathan reported to David all the words of this entire revelation." 2 Samuel 7:17

Without the surrounding context, it seems a verse like this would not naturally be one to extrapolate on. But as I read today's devotional text in 2 Samuel, I found an amazing amount of encouragement in these eleven words.

See, God had just given Nathan the prophet a eleven verses worth of detailed revelation regarding the building of a house for His Name and the building of David's house and line that would eventually be fulfilled in Jesus. And, we're talking some pretty intense stuff. So when I read that "Nathan reported to David all the words of this entire revelation," I thought "how the heck did he remember all of these words?!?" And it was even in the middle of the night!

Then God reminded me that Nathan was His prophet. He was, in fact, called to be a prophet by God Himself. Appointed to the very task. And when God appointed him, He also must have given him everything he needed to do his job correctly.

Well, I don't know about you, but I personally find this piece of truth incredibly encouraging! Because if I'm called and appointed by God to be the mom to the two little girls with whom He has entrusted me, He's going to equip me just like He did Nathan the prophet. With everything I need to do my job correctly. As He intended me to!

Okay, I don't know if Nathan used rote memory or if he took notes while He was listening to the word of the Lord. For all we know, he may have used some pnemonic device. But it truly doesn't matter HOW he did it. The fact remains that he was able to recall "all the words of this entire revelation." And that was his job. Either way, he had the tools necessary to get the job done. And, I'm guessing that he had to work the tools to some extent. Just like this mommy thing requires some (okay, lots of) pretty intense work. But when the work is powered by the Giver of the job, it's possible to do it right!

And, seriously, the fact that it's possible amazes me! So let yourself be encouraged too.

Today, my goal is to look for ways that God has empowered me to do my job as mom well. I hope I find lots.

The LIFE That is Motherhood

I'm amazed at the amount of enjoyment I have experienced as a mom recently. I mean, I've held the title for just about eight years, and I've never found myself able to rest in the role like I have in the past few months. If I had to nail down a reason, I think I'd have to say it's the narrowing of focus, the honing of my purpose as a mom, the realizing that being a mom is not just a job. It's my life.

Okay, I read that, and I think it sounds crazy. Of course it's my life! I'm a mom! But, somehow, I've had this mindset since my initiation days into motherhood that this is more like my job, where I put in for vacation time and solicit the elusive "smoke break". And this mindset has convinced me that motherhood is somehow more hard work than job. So I've approached it more as a job than as my life. The one I'm supposed to LIVE, not just WORK through. And, as a result, I believe I've missed something of the true and deep joy that is motherhood. It's almost like I've been spending all these years trying to convince myself and everyone else that I work so hard and so constantly that I need to take every possible opportunity to be away from this work so I can breathe. And, while that is true to the extent that every mom absolutely needs regular breaks, I think I've taken it to some sort of extreme. And somehow I convinced myself that my job as a mom is a sort of waiting game -- I wait until my kids start school full time, and THEN I can fulfill my true calling. The one God has set aside for me. You know, the amazingly unique career that only I can fulfill.

Only, now that I'm taking the time to focus on what motherhood really is, I'm realizing that this is my calling. My true calling. The one God has set aside for only me. Motherhood is not just some incredibly difficult job, which certainly does lack appreciation at times. It is a lifetstyle full of surprises and challenges and absolute fun and enjoyment!

I hope this makes sense. It's not that I've not enjoyed my kids before now. It's just that, as I find and refine my mission as a mom, I'm finding myself enjoying my kids like never before. And my job is more fun too. :)

Wholehearted Singing

Colossians 3:23-24 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

I recently read the story of Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5. A story I've read many times before. But this time, it struck a chord. Unsure of the reason, I read the story again. Then I read the devotion that some pastors at my church had written on it. And I recognized the chord.

It's the main chord in the song I've been learning this month. The song of wholeheartedness. I've been realizing lately that in several areas of my life I've been doing enough to just get by.

Motherhood is at the very top of that list. I've been seeing a pattern in the way that I mother my two daughters. The pattern is one of almost survival mode. It entails just going through the motions. No intentionality involved. It involves doing the minimum to get through each day. Looking to the end of the day when my husband gets home so I can concentrate on my own life and getting the things done that I "need" to complete. The problem is, if I don't change this course I'm on, I'm going to find myself walking out of a college dorm room wondering what the heck happened to my little girls. And they'll be waving goodbye to me with the minimal amount of real life values and childhood family memories.

I admit this is extreme. I mean, my children are happy and very well-adjusted little girls. But the truth is, if I don't wake up now and start being intentional with the time I have with them, in each and every today, I'm going to end up missing it all! And I don't want to miss it. I want to be the mother they need. The reason God gave them to me instead of someone else. I want to train them to love and follow Jesus wholly. I want to love them like they need to be loved. Like God has purposed me to love them. I want to enjoy this calling of motherhood. Wholeheartedly.

And that's where Ananias and Sapphira fell short. They were pretending. Like I've been pretending. They were trying to fool Almighty God. Trying to appear to be doing something they weren't actually doing. Like I've been trying to appear to be doing the very best job I can at being a mom. Only, the truth is, I haven't been. I've been focused on the wrong stuff -- MY stuff. Everything I want to get done in any given day. Instead of focusing on the job that God has given me to do. The true nurture of my children, whether that be spiritual, physical, mental or emotional. The focus of doing this job called motherhood to the best of my ability. And finishing the song that started with the chord of wholeheartedness.

waiting

The girls have a doctor's appointment this afternoon. I'm hoping for an easy and quick in/out. I do not like waiting in the pediatrician's waiting room. Not when there are other sick kids with whose germs I am not familiar, nor do I care to be. Not with my two kids whose immunities I would like to keep as intact as possible through this seemingly treacherous time of year. Not with my impatience. Not at all.

Now, let it be known that I do not mind waiting rooms when I am alone. Since I have become a mom, I have found this kind of waiting to be rather relaxing. Time to catch up on the latest magazine news, maybe do a crossword puzzle or planning on my calendar. Maybe even get to read a bit of whatever book I've chosen to be into at the time. But waiting, as a verb, not so much.

I've thought about this idea of waiting quite a bit throughout my adult life. Like when I had to wait for my husband to be ready to even start trying to have children and then, again, waiting on God's chosen time for conception. Or like waiting for the comfort of true and Godly friends after several long years of wondering if God would ever allow that kind of friendship to be part of my life. And, as I've worked through these different periods of waiting, I've noticed the many times in Scripture the people whom God had wait. And I mean they had to W-A-I-T!! Like Noah, who not only had to wait 40 days as it rained, but then had to wait several more months for the water to recede before he could get off that stinky boat. Like Abraham, who had to wait 25 years for God to bring His promise of a son (and not just a son, but a whole nation) to fruition. Like Joseph, who had to wait 12 years (!!!) to be free from the imprisonment that he unjustly suffered. And there are so many more.

So today when I drove past the beautifully colored leaves on some trees that lined a long driveway, I not only wondered at their beauty, but also at their seeming lateness. I mean, here in Ohio, fall colors are pretty much over. Everywhere, that is, except on this one driveway where the trees are lined perfectly in a beautiful array of fall colored-leaves. I thought to myself that they must be "late bloomers". But then I heard God's soft reminder that He makes all things beautiful in His time. His perfect time.

See -- if those trees hadn't been so late, I wouldn't get to enjoy their beauty anymore. I probably would have forgotten them by now. But instead, after all the other beauty of all the other fall leaves is gone, I still get to enjoy fall leaves. And I was thinking how perfectly abundant God's timing is. It's perfect. He could have just let those trees turn colors when all of the other trees did. But, instead, He let my enjoyment of fall be extended, if even for just a little while longer.

And He reminded me, yet again, that His timing is not only perfect. It's beautiful. And it's full of grace. I hope I remember that next time I find myself waiting!

I'm sharing this post at Tuesdays Unwrapped chattingatthesky.com

Odd Day Out

Yesterday was odd.

I was the first one up in the morning. Odd. I made homemade waffles for breakfast. Odd for a Sunday morning before church. All this AND I got dressed up because I wanted to. I usually wear my nice jeans and a sweater. Dressier than normal mom-days, but not "dressed up" by any stretch of the imagination. Well, yesterday I felt like wearing a skirt, nylons (?!?!) and my nice, blue, "dressy" shirt. Very, very strange.

Driving home from church, I wondered about this anomaly, thinking I could chalk it up to the fact that I'd been quarantined with the swine flu for the past 10 days or so, resulting in endless pajama days followed by just as many days in sweats and slippers. The strange enjoyment of wearing the nylons and skirt, I reasoned, could be explained by my need to feel not just human, but pretty, again.

But I hadn't really thought through the oddity of being the first one out of bed as well as wanting to make breakfast for my kids instead of just preparing the everyday cold cereal, with an occasional piece of toast. I hadn't thought it through, that is, until my seven-year-old asked me before bed last night if I could get up early again. She reminded me that, back at the end of summer vacation, I had made that a goal for this school year. A goal, I think it goes without saying, that I have failed to meet thus far. Her question struck me in a (surprise!) strange kind of way. Why would she care if I get up early or not?

At this point in the discussion, I feel the need to explain our morning ritual. My husband is normally the first to awaken, followed by the aforementioned seven-year-old. The two of them read the Bible and then eat breakfast together before waking me up so we can pray before my husband sets off for work. I then lay in bed with my daughter, after she waves goodbye to Daddy, mustering all of my energy in order to pry my eyes open. When I finally get out of bed, due to my daughter's patient prodding, we do all of the normal preparations for the day (i.e. get dressed, etc.). I am not what you would call a "morning person".

So, I've been thinking about it today. And I remembered a book by Jill Savage that I started reading this past summer. My Heart's at Home: Becoming the Intentional Mom Your Family Needs. That book is actually the reason for the goal I had made. I think I'm gonna' read it again. Because I'm starting to believe, with all of my heart actually, that my family does need me to be more intentional with my time. Not that they have to have a homemade breakfast everyday. Not even that they need me to be the first out of bed everyday. But, I think the day starts better when I'm on my game before they are. And, consequently, so does theirs. And I think I'm more focused on my purpose, as a mom, as a child of God, as a woman, when I've been awake for more than, say, one minute.

So -- here goes. A goal re-set. My goal is to be up and out of bed, ready for the day, before my husband leaves for work. I will do this for the remainder of this week. And I'll evaluate on Friday how it's gone.

Maybe soon, it'll be not so strange.

Early Christmas Spirit

I started Christmas shopping the other day. Unusual for me, actually. I usually do this all year long. Shopping clearance sales. Finding the occasional great deal, then trying to figure out who I might know that can't live without it so I can buy it. It's really quite difficult for me to walk away from a great bargain. Like that $20 kids game I got for $8. Or the adorable newborn baby Christmas dress for $3.60. You get the idea. And then I stockpile the gifts. My closet has proven to be the most effective holding room. So, usually by this time of the year, I have bags upon boxes full of great finds spilling out.

But this year it's different. I somehow can't get myself to spend that much money. Not that $3.60 or $8 is a lot. I just can't seem to justify searching for that justification to buy something just because it's a great bargain. I've started to realize that the thrill of the hunt is just not worth it. Unless it's the hunt for somthing that's truly needed.

While cleaning out my daughter's bedroom last weekend, I realized, yet again, that my kids have WAY TOO many toys. In years past, I've come to this same realization and then gone on to purchase the aforementioned bargain clearance toy items anyway. But somehow this year my words have caught up with my actions. And I just can't do it. If they don't need it, I just can't seem to get myself to buy it.

Deep inside, I'm longing for that truly meaningful Christmas gift to give. A gift given not because I'm expected to or even because it's something my kids say they want. But something that truly shows my love for them. Something that will actually enhance their lives. Maybe even point them to Jesus more clearly.

Maybe it's because of Faa, the 28-year-old Thai woman my family now has the privelege of knowing. Faa's life has not only changed the lives of the five children she's adopted into her home in Thailand, but has also changed my life and those of my children. Having come from an abusive home into an orphanage where she was introduced to her Heavenly Father and the freedom and love of Jesus, her life's mission has become providing children with a home, despite her lack of finances. She told me a few weeks ago that, at home in Thailand, the one meal a day that she eats is the one that her job allows her. She does this so that she can use every penny of those she earns to provide food for her kids. So they can eat. She said that while she's been here in the States the food is so abundant, she just doesn't feel right throwing anything on her plate away, even when it's much too much for her to eat. Oh, if only we could take all of that food and beam it up to Thailand so they could eat even the scraps.

In light of all of that, I just can't seem to get into the spending spirit yet. Strangely, though, I feel even more in the Christmas Spirit than I've ever felt so early in November. So i'm praying that God shows me what He wants me to give. And I'm asking Him to show my kids and my husband.

And I'm ready for it.

p.s. GROW Thailand (www.facebook.com/GrowThailand?ref) is a brand new ministry to support Faa and her calling to rescue these children stuck in the sex and slave trade in Thailand.
Also, Asia's Hope (www.asiashope.org) is an amazing ministry of much the same type.