My daughter graduated from preschool today. Well, the equivalent of preschool graduation, anyway. Her last day of school is actually Friday, but today was the celebration part of the end of school. I imagine that last day will be the reality part.
She and I were both quiet on the drive home. Odd for her, since lately her favorite phrase is, "So what should we talk about?" I think we were both a little contemplative.
It's strange how change does that to a person. Or the anticipation of change, anyway. I mean, in three very short months, both of our lives are going to change drastically. She will join her older sister at school all day while I stay home and figure out how to do life as a stay home mom who no longer has any children to stay home with. And, although neither one of us knows exactly what that will look like, we each look forward to it in our own unique way. Trepidation and excitement all mixed up together into a great big ball of mixed emotion.
You know that part at the very end of Finding Nemo where all the fish have escaped the dentist's office in plastic sandwich bags, having crossed the busy road, and end up in the ocean and Bloat says, "Now what?" Yeah, that's kind of how I feel.
I wonder if Moses felt like this at all after the Israelites finally escaped Pharaoh's clutches and crossed the Red Sea. "Now what?" Because everything he'd done up until that point was for the freedom of his people. He did as God said because he was God's chosen man for the job. "Now what?" Because the other side of that Red Sea represented an entirely new season of life. For him. For his family. For the entire nation of Israel. And, after they sang songs of praise to the Lord, they traveled in the desert for three days before they even found water (Exodus 15:22). I wonder if during those three days, Moses' heart rang out the question, "Now what?" Surely it did to some extent. Because all he knew to do was to take the next step. The one that God told him to take.
And that's all I know to do. Take this step. It's how marathons get finished. It's how life gets lived. It's how God leads His people. But my nature wants to know... "Now what?"
For now, though, I will take this step. The step that eases my youngest into kindergarten and enjoys summer vacation with my kids. And I will do it wholeheartedly. With gusto. Because I don't want to get to the other side of this road and realize that I've missed the scenery along the way. The beautiful scenery of my girls growing up and being little girls.
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