I mean, I love calendars and planning and maps. I love websites and books that tell me how to improve my home and raise my children and write better blog posts. I love the thrill of potential. Of what could be.
But the follow-through, well, that's a different story. See, I have this sort of glitch in my personality that loves ideas and planning, and hopeful possibility, but struggles with implementation. It's like a great divide between what could be and what really is.
I've been thinking a lot about this great divide lately, and have realized that I feel the same way about who I am. Who I want to be is different than who I actually am. From the size of my pants to the kind of mother I am to the way I react when I'm in a pinch and stress takes over.
But if I compare this thought to the God-breath, His very Word on paper, I am faced with the truth that who I actually am is who God made me. Who He is making me. And I must deal with the fact that with Him, in Him, there is no gap. No great divide. Because He is working me, molding me into His beautiful creation, whom He created for His very purpose.
"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD, endures forever --
do not abandon the works of your hands."
Psalm 138:8
Even when I screw up, He works it in. Because His clay creations always turn out exactly as He plans. Because He is the Perfect Designer. The Amazing Potter. Always. And I am so glad.
4 comments:
Are you sure you didn't write that post about ME?!? Maybe it's a creative/writer-type glitch! lol
YES. I am so passionate about the goal that I get really frustrated with myself during the process. Why is it taking so long? Why do I mess up so often? Why is this so hard? But I take comfort from the examples in scripture of the 12 who were never quite "getting it" but who progressed from fishermen to fishers of men. I take comfort from Jesus who had to suffer and go through the hard stuff as PART OF His purpose! Not as some unfortunate means to the end, but because the WHOLE creative journey is God's design! He is glorified not just when we reach Heaven, but all along the stages of our development!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts - as always I love to ponder them! <3, laura
By the way, did you play the same way I did? "Barbies" was really just dividing the clothes between mine and my sister's Barbie, and coming up with the whole story surrounding their lives. I don't think I ever actually made them DO much of anything... And I had about 20 different clubs - with membership cards and special names and everything - and I don't remember ever having more than 1 club meeting... And then there's the businesses - getting set-up to sell pretty rocks or bracelets and never really selling anything... Or the creative brainstorming of projects that never were undertaken... Or playing an instrument, or girl scouts, or new pets, or...
Can you relate?!?! lol
I struggle with the same things. So glad God is gracious and forgiving. Thanks for sharing.
Uhm, I'm sorry...are you my twin? I'm the same way - love planning, but I always struggle with the implementation of those plans. Part of it is that I'm a perfectionist, and when I can't implement something perfectly, I tend to let it go. The Lord has shown me that this is actually prideful - to think I can be perfect. In Jude verse 24 it says "Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy..." When God showed me this, I realized how much more I need to let go of and rely on Him!
Thanks for sharing this!!!
Post a Comment