Magnetic Mess

The fog settles on the hills, over the trees in my front yard.  I glimpse Fall and breathe in deep.  The misty morning air settles nicely on my face as we kiss and hug and they run to the bus waiting at the end of the driveway.  I step back inside, close the door and thank God for this morning.

Thank You for the calm.

It's not usually this peaceful inside.  There have been seasons where peace and calm have reigned averarching quiet like the misty morning breakthrough.  This is not one of them.  So when we have a morning like today, I can't help but take notice.  And I pause in gratitude.

There is a mess inside.  And it is not the laundry/clutter/dirty dishes kind.  It's the personal inside kind. 

Daily, I awake wondering if today will prove chock full of reminders.  Because sometimes it wakes me up, staring me square in the face -- this messy emotional pit God is using to draw me near to Him.  To keep me there, eyes fixed solely on Him.  The only Rock that stays put no matter what.  It's not there today.  Not yet anyway.

Regardless, I turn to Him first thing.  Because I must.  There exists no other option.  If I am to conquer this mess, it is only through Him.  His truth.  His Spirit living inside.

I am called to be free.  It is for freedom that He set me free.

I ask Him to redeem these emotions.  Redeem this mess.  He reminds me that He is working.  Somehow He assures me that He has ordained it.  He uses a friend to reveal that He sometimes uses hard times as magnets to pull us closer to Him.  He reminds me that He let it get messy.  He knew I couldn't ignore this one.  Couldn't just push it aside and wait for the motivation to clean it up.  He knew I couldn't clean it up.  I'd have to ask Him to do it. 

That's where He wants me.  Eyes fixed on His ways.  Seeking His truth for my daily.  For my hourly.  Utterly dependent.

And He gives me eyes to see that even this is good.

You are good, and what you do is good; 

teach me your decrees.

~Psalm 119:68~