I was driving pretty fast because we were late. My oldest had missed the bus. My youngest had forgotten the rocks she'd planned to share at preschool. And I had just gotten off the phone with a friend who has had me on my knees since October. The conversation, and the morning, had me feeling empty. Like I needed some unidentifiable something to fill a strange void that had reared its agitated head in my spirit. So I grabbed the box of animal crackers from the passenger's seat and shoved some in my mouth. That's when I recognized it. The old imposter that likes to pretend that it can give me what I need and fill me up in my inmost being.
Sometimes it shows up in my cravings for food. Other times, it comes in a different kind of appetite. The kind that can't stop finding great bargains on stuff and then purchasing said stuff after justifying the "need" for it.
And it's pretty good, this imposter. Quite convincing, even.
Trouble is, it can't do what it claims. In fact, the only thing this imposter can fill is the waistline on my pants. And the hangers in my closet. And the shelves in my house.
I quickly thanked God for the discernment. And then I thought about the truth of what can fill me up. The kind of full that my spirit knows it needs but doesn't always want to search for. The kind of full that overflows. The kind of full that can only come from the very God Who created *full*. That's why Paul prayed for the Ephesians:
"that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:16-19 (NIV)
He knew that it takes God's power to grasp the only kind of full that can really fill. He knew that it takes God's Spirit in my inner being, Christ's "dwelling in (my) heart through faith," to be "filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." That's the only real *full*. And that's what God reminded me of that day as I sped down the road and into my day.
So I put down the animal crackers and eased up on the accelerator. And I breathed. Fully. Because I know that I know that I know that "all the fullness of God" is mine to be had.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" Ephesians 3:20
Let's help each other recognize some of the imposters that present themselves as "filler-uppers." Because recognizing them is a huge step to throwing them off. Then we can let the truth of God's Word replace the lie. And we can live together in all that amazing fullness of God! Won't you join me?