Anyway -- the budget line item eventually changed from "Wedding Gifts" to "Birthday Gifts." And we are now in the season of life where our kids go to birthday parties more than we go to weddings. A lot more.
But last weekend was different. We got to go to a wedding. A very special friend from one of those college groups of long ago got married on the Fourth of July. And we got to be part of it.
I was a blubbering fool for most of the ceremony. It was a beautiful one. With a most exquisite bride whose inner beauty radiated throughout her whole being.
But the part of the day that stuck with me most resolutely was in some of the final words of the pastor. Just before the groom got to kiss the bride...
"From now on, it is no longer your love that will sustain your commitment,
but your commitment that will sustain your love."
Yes!! That, my friends, is marriage. Vigilant commitment. The kind that sustains love. The kind that chooses to love actively no matter what I feel like doing or how I feel like acting. It's what keeps us married even on those days when it feels like it might be easier to just not be.
And I am finding that when I am actively pursuing this vigilant commitment, actively loving my husband, it helps with the feelings. It propels the lovey-doveys. (Yes, I just pluralized that adjective and made it a noun. Don't hate me.) Because "it is no longer (my) love that...sustain(s) (my) commitment..."