So, today we re-arranged each of their bedrooms. And as we did, I did not enjoy the process nearly as much as I normally do. I struggled. Because the eight-year-old, (i.e. the instigator of this morning's activity) has a very specific
As she described her vision of placing her day bed so it sticks out into the middle of the room instead of conforming to the nature for which it was created (i.e. being pushed up against a wall), my insides screamed "No!!!!" That's why my husband so
You know what? I already knew she wouldn't like it. Because it wasn't her idea. Sometimes, I feel like she doesn't like things just because it's my idea. Like she was born to prove to me that she needs no training of any sort. About anything. Especially when it comes to something that is hers. In this case, her bedroom. Her space.
I hate that we have such different ways of seeing things. We have always had this clash. And, realizing that many moms and daughters have a certain mother/daughter clash thing, I am just not okay with it. I don't want her to grow up to just accept that we will always clash because "that's just what moms and daughters do". I want to have a healthy relationship with her. With both of my daughters. I want to work through it. I don't want to struggle with my pride everytime we disagree on something. Because I think that's what's at the bottom of it. Pride. Hers. And mine. She wants to prove she knows enough. I want to prove I'm in control. P.R.I.D.E.
That's why I began praying for a healthy relationship with her back when she was about two-years-old and the clash began to raise its ugly face. Because I want to be the mom that Jesus made me to be. The mom that He knew she needs. The kind of mom that teaches her who Jesus is. What His ways are. Why they're the only way to really live.
And sometimes, I feel like we're improving. Like the ten minutes every night that she and I started spending together reading through a devotion book for girls her age. And yesterday when we played Gamecube together while she was sick at home and her sister was at preschool. But, we always seem to return to the clash. I know we'll always have differences. That's relationships. I know we will never have the perfect one. We are human. But I also have to believe that it can be better. Strong-willed child, strong-willed mama and all. I only wish I knew how.
Any thoughts? Anyone else been there? I'd love some advice...