Ok, so I just read this in Haggai because of a little insert in our church bulletin yesterday . . .
"Take a good, hard look at your life.
Think it over.
You have spent a lot of money,
but you haven't much to show for it.
You keep filling your plates,
but you never get filled up.
You keep drinking and drinking and drinking,
but you're always thirsty.
You put on layer after layer of clothes,
but you can't get warm.
And the people who work for you,
what are they getting out of it?
Not much --
a leaky, rusted-out bucket, that's what.
That's why GOD-of-the-Angel-Armies said:
'Take a good, hard look at your life.
Think it over.' "
from Haggai 1 in the Message
Yep, that's totally been me. Wasting money on all kinds of stuff just because it's a great deal. (Man, how I love a good bargain!) And wasting time on whatever I think will help me relax and enjoy life if even just a little. The thing is, it is fun. And I can brag about all the good deals I got (including my $3 shirts and $7 pair of jeans, not to mention all of the amazing Goodwill finds! But I digress . . .), but if I really take a "good, hard look at (my) life," I have to wonder what I really have to show for all of the money I've spent. Well, ok, maybe I have some cute clothes, but Clinton and Stacy would almost definitely make fun of me for wearing most of them, especially since they were all on clearance when I bought them. And, yes, I do have a new Bejeweled Blitz high score (104,000 -- thank you very much!). But, I seriously think that compared to walking in true and constant fellowship with Jesus, those things are so empty. Even the refreshing glass of ice cold Diet Coke (gulp, gulp, ahhhh!) doesn't quench my real thirst.
Now, I am definitely NOT saying that Bejeweld Blitz is evil. Or good bargains. Or even Diet Coke (although, I must admit, I have my doubts about that one). I'm not even saying that God doesn't want me to enjoy these things when I get the chance. But I think that in the midst of mommyness and figuring out ways to give myself special "treats" in the day-to-day, I've gotten lost in justifying myself. I think I started falling for the lie that I NEEDED a Diet Coke to refresh me or even some cute new clothes at an amazing price to give me a little "pick-me-up". I know I probably sound like a bit of a radical. That's ok, I guess. I don't really want to be a radical. I just want to live that life that Jesus came to give me. I don't want to miss out on it because of being so distracted by things that don't even come close to measuring up.